When in the company of others, you generally won’t venture far from lowest-common-denominator, mutually stimulating ideas and experiences. Taking time to explore alone can be worthwhile, for moving between the internal and external worlds provides the context they each require for full appreciation.
“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
Ah how appreciable the moments of clarity are when glimpsing a new idea or perspective that can be gradually kneaded into automatic thought processes.
Though we know it not to be true, when looking at the stars we tend to see them as sitting on a single plane, as though they were all equidistant from us. Instead, try pretending the brighter stars are closer to you, and the dimmer ones are further away. When sufficient concentration is applied, the stars will all at once shift out of your imagined plane as some jump forwards and others rush back. When viewing the night sky this way, our cosmic situation becomes a bit more tangible.
A similar approach can be taken to get a sense of the moon’s spherical nature, as opposed to seeing it as a circle and only really knowing in theory it’s not the case. I find this most achievable when the moon’s near three quarters full.
How difficult it is to reconcile that the bizarre experiences of entheogens are of the same reality that appears so familiar, manageable, and ‘normal’, otherwise. That the magnitude of variation in perspectives of the same reality can be so unimaginably vast is surely one of nature’s most remarkable phenomena.
Life is of course without cosmic meaning, but it is however inherently and subjectively purposeful. It has no destination, yet it has direction, direction which inspires an appetite for nourishment, love, and survival. So yes it is a waste of time to look for higher meaning in your life, however the transient instinctual purposes developed for you by evolution can be deeply satisfying to live and try for, if you let them be.