While determinism has been disproved by quantum mechanics, free will still certainly doesn’t exist in the way our egos wish it did. Thus, there’s very limited sense in blaming ‘yourself’ for anything. Your actions are out of ‘your’ power. We are simply water following cracks in a pavement. If however you see yourself as all of nature rather than only a part of it, then free will does exist because there is nothing external to control you.